Full steam ahead…
Started selling things. My possessions.
I’ve spent a lifetime gathering all of this stuff…and now when I look at every. little. thing. all I see are things. Stuff that I need to get rid of. It dosn’t hold the same value anymore.
There are few memories with them. What? Some crappy little table I bought at IKEA? No memories. That huge mirror…no memories. Why did I buy that chair? Did I have to get the expensive one? Now, all I see is a fancy place to sit, propped atop a steel frame with rolly wheels. It’s insignificant. It doesn’t matter. Even the wheels aren’t going to get me anywhere.
It’s like the question: What would you grab if your house was on fire? Well, I’m now preparing for a house fire that will burn slowly. I’ll have time to grab more things, but most of it just has to go because it doesn’t matter. I’ll take Ripley, clothes, shoes, books, textiles and computer stuff. I’ll have time to grab all of that. It’s weird…for someone *pointing at self* who wanted to spend a lifetime travelling around the world, I sure acquired a lot of stuffs.
I love that I have a reason to get rid of it all now. That I have a reason to not need to hang on to all of these things. They aren’t what makes me happy. I don’t need any of it. Everything else doesn’t matter as much as I thought it would.
Things became my weapon of choice that I used against myself…so I didn’t move forward, so I didn’t fail. I was tied to all my possessions. I was bound to them. The more things I had, the more likely I wouldn’t leave.
So, I started selling things.
I think they possessed me.
31 May 2010 update
For the first time EV-ER, I know I don’t care what I don’t have. I still want to be comfortable and make the place I lay my head, my home. But I don’t care about all the other stuff. Wow.